I always burn, sometimes till death but like a phoenix I rise from my own ashes to burn yet again.After all, it isn't that bad.
Midnight Sun
"My life is an unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be midnight for me. So how is it possible that the sun is rising now, in the middle of my midnight?"
- Stephenie Myers, Midnight Sun
"Life works in mysterious ways. When we think we are drawing our last breathe while our whole life stretches before our own eyes, it sends that kiss of life leaving us clueless.”
- Angel Siribaddana, Angelic Hallucinations (lol)
Ruling Darkness
Kiss my diamond tears and ease my pain
Touch my trembling lips with yours, saint
Whisper in my ear sweet nothings faint
Lost in me take me to the veining moon
Soft moans escaping mine lips, inviting
The heaven and hell lost in ecstasy fighting
Yearn for more when I can give nothing more
Fall with me over the edge my warrior viking
Pain
This emotional isolation is simply unbearable.... No matter how many surrounds me I will always be alone, alone and alone. It is no one's fault but mine. People love my company, my small talks and foremost my weirdness, as they call it but no one cares enough to look beyond that intriguing bizarreness and look into the pangs of misery held within that bleeding heart. Once they are satisfied, they all walk away and none remains to see how much pain I am in when they leave. This repeats so often and you would think I would be immune to pain by now but no, it's the other way around. The pain gets worse each time.
I do not want to be different. I want to be like every one else. I don't want people to cringe away from me. Just like everyone else I love to be loved, love to be told that I am loved.I want to tell someone how much I suffer, how much I wish that they will not leave me. I want someone to take my hand and jump off that cliff without a care not knowing what will happen next.....but no one dares. They just cringe away at the thought. I am just another exhibit for them to enjoy and when the museum closes they will all go away.
I do not want to be different. I want to be like every one else. I don't want people to cringe away from me. Just like everyone else I love to be loved, love to be told that I am loved.I want to tell someone how much I suffer, how much I wish that they will not leave me. I want someone to take my hand and jump off that cliff without a care not knowing what will happen next.....but no one dares. They just cringe away at the thought. I am just another exhibit for them to enjoy and when the museum closes they will all go away.
Will You Heed My Call Tonight?
Hearken my call in the wind tonightWhat say you to its soft sighs?
Feel its beguiling caress on the leaves of fall
As twilight falls will you heed my call?
You, the placid ocean, will be set on fire
Until you writhe mindless lost in desire
While thunders growl relish your wildfire
Destroy me thus surrender to your needs dire
Burn in me, born in me, conquer me tonight
Fight with me, fight in me and win me tonight
The wind calls, my love, is your heart light?
Beloved,will you fall from grace for me tonight?
Waiting (Continued)
So, what happens when we give in and lethargy hits? Do we simply give up? Of course not. It is not in our nature to simply give up because deep down in us dwells curiosity, waiting till the right moment to spring to action.
At the very moment we think our curiosity is well fed and complacent, it explodes.!!! Sensing another mystery in the facts that we just resolved....plunging in to another whole new fathomless dark pit lecherously, looking to satisfy its insatiable hunger and there we burst into flames yet again burning and yearning for more. So with every breath we take, unknowingly we desire.... we starve..... and we feed our darkest fantasies and our innermost longings.
No matter how mischievous and treacherous the ways of curiosity are, if it wasn't for curiosity, human evolution would have been just another sci-fi, I, for that matter, would have not been here writing this and you would have not been here reading my feelings.
At the very moment we think our curiosity is well fed and complacent, it explodes.!!! Sensing another mystery in the facts that we just resolved....plunging in to another whole new fathomless dark pit lecherously, looking to satisfy its insatiable hunger and there we burst into flames yet again burning and yearning for more. So with every breath we take, unknowingly we desire.... we starve..... and we feed our darkest fantasies and our innermost longings.
No matter how mischievous and treacherous the ways of curiosity are, if it wasn't for curiosity, human evolution would have been just another sci-fi, I, for that matter, would have not been here writing this and you would have not been here reading my feelings.
He Will Be Loved
I tread that lonely alleyway and I can hear him walking a few yards ahead of me oblivious of my presence. The thick veil of fog tries to hide him even though we are seconds apart, as if it knows that I am up to no good but my senses are much more advanced to be clouded by nature's mischief. I can hear his every heartbeat. I can hear his every breath. I can hear his every pulse.I can even hear the wind swishing through his ruffled hair.
The scene is set for the perfect crime. No one around, only me and him.
As I am about to pounce he sighs. Not contentedly but a heart chilling one....I freeze in mid jump. He is sad, I conclude, but WHY? Curiosity flares through my frozen veins. I want to take a look at this sad stranger's face but I cannot. I am not allowed. I want to hug him and tell him that everything will be alright but I know he will flinch away at my very touch. He will find no solace in my arms or in my frozen embrace.
I stop and watch him walk away. Only if, he braved himself to take the risk, he would have been loved beyond his wildest dreams yet he is just a mere mortal who does not know of my kind's existence. Only if!!!!
The scene is set for the perfect crime. No one around, only me and him.
As I am about to pounce he sighs. Not contentedly but a heart chilling one....I freeze in mid jump. He is sad, I conclude, but WHY? Curiosity flares through my frozen veins. I want to take a look at this sad stranger's face but I cannot. I am not allowed. I want to hug him and tell him that everything will be alright but I know he will flinch away at my very touch. He will find no solace in my arms or in my frozen embrace.
I stop and watch him walk away. Only if, he braved himself to take the risk, he would have been loved beyond his wildest dreams yet he is just a mere mortal who does not know of my kind's existence. Only if!!!!
My Mortal
(Inspired by Stephenie Myers' Twilight)
Tonight I burn for thee my mortal angel
In this darkest hour with thee I shall dwell
Burning in my scorching thirst, inhaling that sweet torture
Embracing the flickering flames as if there shall be no future
Though parched my veins, lusting for thy bloody wine
Drenched in thy sweet breath I die a thousand times
Yet I born again from the very ashes to suffer again
To adore thee with my frozen heart and dried veins
Waiting
The seven seas raging inside me pushes hard against my weakened will trying to break through. Should I give in? The monster in me croons at the very thought but what will be the end if I do so? For us humans, the excitement only lasts until the thing we crave for remains a mystery. Once we solve the mystery and break down the facts we become lethargic. So, does it even worth giving in?
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