I Am Your Guardian Angel

Evil may fall upon thee

Those who arouse my wrath

Ill may engulf thine life

Those who wish ill upon me

For I am not to be talked about

For I am not to be thought of

My being merely a fantasy itself

Beyond the boundaries of thine meager existence.... 

Picture Credit goes to Carolline Anna Ras

Oh, all you silly people who think that angels are so pure and void of evil! We are nothing but venom that will poison the very air we breathe. We are not what you believe us to be. We were created to fulfill one purpose and one purpose only. We were designed to kill for we are soldiers of one mass army. Thus take that idiotic idea out of your heads, for we are not meant to protect you. We are who we are... We are ANGELS...

The Moment of Truth

Well, you might not like this one because my current mood is utter fury and total disappointment. I am not even sure how to gather my thoughts in to compiling this. I am simply wondering who to blame. Is it me or is it you, Father? Yes, I am not talking to the holy spirit nor the Son who I have very much faith in but I am addressing directly you Father. Call me a sinner but I need to get this out of my damned chest.

Will you just take a look at the mess you've put me through? Don't you for one frigging second think that I deserve a break? Why do you have to throw balls in to my court one after the other when you bloody well know that I am pretty damn tired to hold the bat let along swing it? Don't you dare say that I always have a choice. Why the hell does the choice matter when you have the final say in the matter? and don't even think about letting me think that I need to repent because this is what you made me, I didn't ask for this shit, did I now? This is the way you made me. So do not, let me repeat, do not even think about pointing that finger at me. 

If you think you can get away with throwing small mercies at me, guess what, ohhh no, I am not fooled. I am miserable, I am frustrated and I am, hell, what not. I've worked hard all my life to get what I want, through turmoil and torture. How long till you are satisfied that I've bled enough for you? Just about when I feel things are complacent you have to stir up some shit and make it even more crappier. Trust me, I am on the verge of breaking apart. I am mentally tortured beyond comparison and you know that very well. What is the point of testing me when I have proven enough? I've proven to you that I am not a quitter, that I am not a reckless and other things that don't come to mind this moment.

I am not asking for much goddamn it! just leave me be!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope

Hope sure is a fickle friend. It raises you to unimaginable heights and let you fall to the ground in an instant without a warning. You fall, fall, fall and fall cursing yourself all the time for trusting hope. In my never ending existence hope had played the most gruesome role imaginable and the most enchanted. I do not blame hope for it is its nature, the way it was created just like me. Although it is treacherous, one things I've learned after all those years is that never abandon hope for it is your very essence.

I Am Your Night

The moon is my sun,
the night is my day
blood is my life
and you are my prey

I long for what I've lost
For that which can never be
I cloak the horror of what I am
and pray you never see

I shadow my gaze in your presence
and pray you may never be part
of the hunger that claws at my vitals
of the evil that blackens my heart

I look into your eyes
and find forgiveness there
and for a moment,
one brief sweet shining moment
I see an end to my despair

Your touch has rendered me helpless
your trust weakens the chains of the past
dare I believe in the love you offer
Have I found an end to this darkness at last?

The Power

Playing with natural elements is no good at all. Nothing good can come of it. Even though you have the power the repercussions will be too hard to dealt with. The earth we stand on, the air we breathe in, the light we see, the rain that pours down on us.. they carry unimaginable power within them. They are not to be messed with. Each spell we cast imbalance the power around us, taking us down with it as it goes. 

Fear

I am afraid, very afraid, for some unknown reason. I tremble inside. Sun is all red, the wind is fierce. I want to fly once again but I cannot muster the courage to call on them. What if they are lost to me forever? What if I am not worthy of them any longer? I go down on one knee and make the sign of the cross, my last glimmer of hope. My thirst beats at me. Feed it says.They are going to come for me. Am I strong enough to fight them? I am one of them after all and I cannot end a life of a brethren and they wouldn't either but is there really a point being enemies? We are creatures of god. We didn't ask for this. We were born this way. Doesn't that make us children of god too, in a twisted kind of way? Father please forgive me... I cannot help who I am.. I am what you made me.. Vulnerable and strong at the same time. Fragile, delicate but indestructible. I am afraid.... very very afraid... for some unknown... REASON!!!

Interpret it as you may

“The Holy Grail ‘neath ancient Roslin waits.
The blade and chalice guarding o’er her gates.
Adnorned in masters’ loving art, she lies. 
She rests at last beneath the starry skies.”