Just Hold me

Ask me if I am happy. The answer is 'no I've never been'. I wouldn't know that blissful feeling even if it hits me between the eyes. Yet I put up a good pretense, taking advantage of those small mercies. I cringe in pain, writhing in my agony. I tread a lonely path with worrisome clouds threatening overhead to pour down on me bleeding along while I drag my mangled limbs. I will walk until the day the road ends even though I see no haven, just fascinating mirages.

Is there anyone out there to tend my wounds? No, I thought not. Hold me please..... I am not asking for much, just hold me. I may be different from your average woman, but do not be afraid of me. Vicious is in my nature but I do not bite. I like to be held and loved just like any other woman. Rip my body apart and look inside, you will find there is nothing strange. Hold me.....Just hold me.....and walk away. I will remember it the eternity I live and cherish each and every second of it.

Alas!

Another new day, the sound of the clock is deafening. Sun rises and moon vanes, and I remain unstirred. Even the rocky mountains change shape. Yet here I am, unchanged after decades. Great wars have been fought, great loves had come and gone, changing poetry. Lo! I am still the same.

Thunder growls outside as if protesting my right of being. Please understand that I never did wanted to be what I am, it is who I was born as, or what I was as far as my memories carry. This loneliness is excruciating. I call upon you who are like me, come, I want to share this eternity with someone. Come out of your hiding, I beg you.

I have dropped from impossible heights to end this misery. I have tried bleeding to death. I have drowned myself, buried myself. Cursed be this! I remain alive.

Prayer of an angel

I cry tears of blood, my spirit withering away with each heartbeat. The torment, I suffer, alone in the dark. I save all, yet I see no salvation. Day after day, smiles I put on others face, return to haunt me. I hurt, with every breath I take. I bear while fate impales me. I cannot cry out, no matter how much agony I endure. Even if I do, no one hears, my plea is beyond any one's ears.

Is there anyone out there? Anyone who is willing to suffer with me? To embrace me and whisper that things will be alright even for me? To wake me from this dreamless sleep? Even though this is my purpose of being, I do wish to be loved....

I Shall Heed Thy Call

Make me breathless with each step thee take
Draw thy sword from the sheath at my wake
Smile thine divine smile, shake my earthly grave
Wake me from my slumber, oh my prince brave

Kneel before my grave, I shall heed your call
Chant for the gods, pray they hear your call
If thee crave my return from my earthly hole
Call me by my name, from grace I shall fall

Thy shimmer, I see with my closed eyes
In my tomb I rejoice for you are my vice
Thy need shakes the ground my body lies
For thee, tonight, my prince, I shall rise

Keep thy sword at hand as earth swallows dust
Letting me emerge from the earth crust
Fight my monsters, show me thine worth
My mortal prince, for thee I shall rise again

While Your Lips Are Still Red

Oh how we all yearn to preserve our youth! that soft translucent skin, the glitter in those eyes, the curves of that luscious body. We look away for a second it seems and it's all gone replacing them with a withering wrinkling body we do not recognize even if we look into the mirror for hours. Sometimes you ask yourself, is this really you? For you not know the woman who stands in front of it. Is it really her tresses once shiny and voluminous? Is this really her skin once blemishes shied away from? Is this her body once men could not take their eyes away from? The woman who has replaced her seems alien even with a hint of what was left of once glorious.

Oh tears, go back, there is no work for you here, for this is what IS and what will BE. This body may be just a reminiscence of what it was but your heart is still beating to the same rhythm it once beat. It is still the same under all that flesh and veins and that man who has grown old beside you still sees you the way he laid eyes upon you for the very first time.

He will always kiss you while your lips are still red regardless what has become of your hide......

Our Savior, Mortal or Divinity?

Today's subject of angelic hallucination is Our Savior Jesus Christ. It is a reverent topic most avoid comment or discussion. I am a sinner greater than most out there but I do not have any intention of slurring his goodwill. Am I scared? No I am not, for I believe he is righteous and forgiving.

After, perhaps, three years, I got to watching Da Vinci Code, the movie again in result of watching a documentary about Mary Magdalene last night. It really got me thinking, would it make Our Savior any less holier if he had a wife? It does not. In my case it makes Jesus Christ someone who I can reach out to, someone I know that will understand all my burdens and my chaotic thoughts.

Was he mortal? I do not care. Whether he was divinity or mortal doesn't defer the fact that he was capable of boundless compassion and kindness. It doesn't in one bit deter how great he was and how true what he taught us. If that wasn't the case his teaching would have been long lost by now. His teachings still exist because we can relate to them, each and every simple fact of his doctrine.

So why do people condemn the fact that he could have taken a partner? Is it because they believe he knew no mortal sins? Yet again is loving someone a sin at all? Or is it the church who was afraid of losing power if people did not fear God? Should you fear god and Jesus Christ? Please open up your hearts to him and you will realize he knows no hatred. You are his child as good as I am.

In conclusion, again I ask thee, does it make him less holier? NO IT DOES NOT for he will always be there for you no matter how bigger a sinner you are if you just let him in.

I know this because he carried me from the ashes of my disappointment when I thought all was lost to me. He tended to my wounds and was with me through my agony. He stood by me when others were insulting me, sneering my meager existence. Therefore I do not care whether he was mortal or divine or whether he had someone to turn to and know he was loved too. Doesn't such great individual deserve at least that much? I reverently stand by him not because he stood by me when I needed someone the most. Because he deserve to be loved back.