You

An illusion you are, came to mock me
To ruin a lonely broken existence
Cruel you are, showing me what I cannot have
Vanishing in an instance
A drug you are, that I cannot live without
I gulp you down no hesitance
A hope you are, glimmering in the darkness
In a boneyard of forgotten remnants
A shadow you are, becoming one with night
Never near, demanding submission
I need you, I hate you, my lover, my enemy
You are....

Resolutions that Die in Secret

The only resolution that I intend to make in 2019 is not to have any resolutions because I am not good at keeping them. AT ALL! Therefore resolutions and I have come to terms that neither of us will try to work on things that will never see the light of day.

2018 flew by in such a flurry, I still cannot believe it is over. Life has become stagnant and routine, even the most adrenaline inducing adventures I embark on has become rather dull. I understand it is because of who I am and what my brain does but sometimes I really do wish I could be like everyone else. Though I feel blessed to be born with such high brain function most of the time, I cannot deny sometimes I yearn to see the world like any other ordinary girl. I wish emotions would come easily and I do not have to pretend to have them whenever I am with the outside world. Am I broken or whole? I do not know.